Melbourne, Saturday: According to Boomers' point guard Andrew Gaze his scuffle with American Vince Carter during the Boomer's 89-64 loss on Saturday was all part of the game.

"Basketballer's always bump chests and swear at each other," said Gaze, blowing on the mecurocrome applied to a 1-inch graze on his knee.

"It's all a part of the game, part of  the rough and tumble, the physicality, the intimidation - when I grabbed Carter's singlet and he pushed me onto the ground, it was just his way of saying 'Don't touch me, man, I don't appreciate it none, you muthafuckin whitebread sumbitch, you do it again I gonna pop a muthafuckin cap in yo ass!'"

"So then we had a fight like girls."

The Dream Team getting excited about their demolition of the Boomers.Wouldn't they go mad if they beat someone who could get within 20 points of  them.

100 tunes from the Js.

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"How I love a man who buys things from dstore.com." --Anna Kournikova

Nintendo--Get more from your TV.

MANILA (The Arab Times): "This ruling is discriminatory because our obesity is congenital," representatives of the Philippines' twelve thousand overweight policemen told an appeal court in Manila.

Fat Cops Revolting...

New York, Monday: All-conquering tennis prodigies the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, have captured themselves in plastic with the introduction of Barbie-like dolls bearing their likeness.

When you pull the chord on the Venus doll it says such things as 'I love me', 'I am so very excellent at tennis' and 'I am a bubble-head, tee-hee.'

Advertise for Adidas. You know it makes sense.

Venus, showing the endearing seppo star-quality of smiling big and not thinking much.

MADRID, Sept 7 (Reuters) - A crackdown on rowdy nightclubs on the Spanish holiday island of Majorca sparked street protests by drunken German tourists, police said.

German Tourists Cranky...

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six. (N64) Lead an elite group of multinationals against the forces of terrorism.

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Buy this watch and you'll get laid. It will make you cool.

LONDON, Sept 7 (Reuters) - A rare, poorly understood and often misdiagnosed brain injury is causing sufferers to lose control of a hand so it behaves as if it has a mind of its own, an Italian scientist said on Thursday.

Italians Invent Excuse for Elbow Tit...

The upcoming Sam Newman and Paul Vautin vehicle - the Sam and the Fatman Show--is described by publicisists from the Nine Network as 'a cross between the Larry Saunders and Wide World of Sports'.

WWOS frontman Ken Sutcliffe was unavailable for comment yesterday but Larry Saunders described the claims as 'complete shit'.

"The claims are complete shit," he said. "It's actually going to be a cross between the Footy Show and the Footy Show, minus half a dozen boofheads. And footy."

"What a crock of shit it promises to be," he added.

Nine hit back saying the show would "remind viewers of Late Night Live with Steve Vizard, The Eric Bana Show, and daytime television from the halcyon days of Mike Walsh, Burt Newton and the great Don Lane."

"What a crock of shit it promises to be, but ratings will be huge," the Nine spokesperson said. 

Now that's funny."

Haven't got a Sony Playstation? You poor, lifeless creature. A whole world of couch-sitting , drug-taking, pizza-eating awaits!

BOGOTA, Sept 7 (Reuters) - A Russian-designed submarine in the process of being built to smuggle drugs out of Colombia was confiscated on Thursday outside Bogota, authorities said.

Sneaky Sub Averted as Coke Trade Suffers 20 Minute Setback...

Nope, nothing to do with Sam and The Fatman but who even needs an excuse.

ISTANBUL, Sept 7 (Reuters) - Turkish police on Thursday escorted hundreds of gay U.S. holidaymakers on a visit to Istanbul's tourist sites after officials on the Aegean coast had expelled them from popular attractions.

No Go Gay Turkey...

...at Silly2000.com

Ditto

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London, Friday: English cricket's fear that it will become embroiled in the match-fixing scandal intensified yesterday after Indian police said they will disclose corruption charges against two England players by the end of the month.

Backing English losses is a massive industry in India and the two players are said to be cult heroes among punters in India's bustling SP bookmaking shops.

With the joyful reaction to England's Test series victory against the West Indies barely subsided, English cricket authorities fear that allegations of English misconduct could shatter team morale.

And coming on top of Australia's probable Ashes victory in 2001, the English soccer team's world ranking the equal of Namibia and the death of the Queen Mother many fear the players could become suicidal.

Centrebet's market for Pommy Most Likely To Top Himself is 7/1 the field though the smart money has Nasser Hussain (or whomever is in his captaincy role this time next month) as the best bet.

Graham Gooch plots with Imran Khan to initiate another English loss. Gambling has really hit the Poms hard. They must bet on everything.

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