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THE SKINK |
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Volume 1, Edition 20 - Monday, 14th August 2000 - www.theskink.com |
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Australia's Weekly Sports News Review |
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A. The Games will be good for the running and stuff. But fuck SOCOG, the incompetent, eltitist pricks. Editor's Note: Arnold above is to assuage some of our female readers re the constant bikini babes and subsequent lack of manly beefcake. So there you go girls. Hot sexy smoking Arnold pants action. |
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Issue of The Week Q. Should we forget the foibles of SOCOG and just embrace the Olympics? |
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Guest Columnists |
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Mungo Chief's Quote of Millenium Belmore, Thursday: In a game as riddled with self-aggrandisement as Rugby League (Simply the Best, Greatest Game, Lots of Hit-Ups, etc) it was going to take a truly bold statement to surprise we here at The Skink. One man has done it… |
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KIEV, Aug 9 (Reuters) - Cheap glue proved the undoing of a hard-core Russian criminal, whose fake ears came unstuck just as he was crossing passport control at the Ukrainian-Slovak border, a Ukrainian daily reported on Wednesday. |
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SAO PAULO, Aug 7 (Reuters) - Six lions escaped from a circus and caused panic in a Brazilian town early on Monday but injured only a horse before they were shot dead, police said. |
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MIAMI (Reuters) - They enter the United States as hapless drug "mules" with their illicit cargo surgically stitched into their muscles, bonded to their backs with fake skin or ingested in tight-packed condoms, their lives hanging by a latex thread. |
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Sydney, Friday: With 'advertizer's block' and realism setting in Sydney's Olympic promoters have at last come to the grim realisation that despite all their expertise at PR, hype and spin doctoring the Olympic Flame Torch Relay is boring as fuck. "I'm tired of the lies!" exhorted legendary adman John Singleton. "I'm tired of the hypocrisy. I can't look my young tackers in the eye anymore." "Plus, fuck me dead with a dead drongo's donger, it'd be easier promoting the Rugby League World Cup!" "Actually, no it wouldn't," he added. |
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Important Medical Community Service Link… Click the above to find out if you too are one of the similarly afflicted. Our thoughts go out to you... |
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Not long now...the path of the Olympic Flame has excited the townsfolk who've watched it visit their town whilst boring shitless most everyone else. |
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MEAT PIE NAMED AFTER BUGNER |
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Gold Coast, Tuesday: With the long overdue news that a food company are naming a meat pie the 'Aussie Joe Bugner Heavyweight', other food retailers have weighed in to get their name behind the man who twice went 15 rounds with the great Muhammad Ali. McDonalds have named a special 8-meat patty Big Mac the 'Idiot Bugner Burger', KFC have unearthed the Bugner Bucket (You'll Throw In The Towel Too!), whilst Pizza Hut have renamed their entire corporation 'Joe Bugner'. |
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Aussie Joe Bugner twice went the distance with Muhammad Ali. Which explains quite a lot. |
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One the pulse as usual, Poet Lauriedaleyate The Rabbit Trapper on the interesting Rugby League World Cup. With his remaining breath TRT also debates the Wallabies interesting inclusion of incumbent, large-bottomed hooker Michael Foley. Plus the effervescent Dario relates an interesting story about our wierd cousins across the pond. 8 schooner, back-bar ranting at it's very best. |
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JOLO, Philippines, Aug 11 (Reuters) - A Moslem rebel leader holding mostly foreign hostages in the southern Philippines has abducted a woman living near the guerrilla camp and married her, local officials said on Friday. |
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Pommy Yachtsman off Target Macaulay Culkin's Marriage Breaks Up. Dammit! |
