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Stuff |
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THE SKINK |
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Volume 1, Edition 16 - Monday, 17th July 2000 - www.theskink.com |
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Australia's Weekly Sports News Review |
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A.Yes. How is that grovelling little prick, Howard? Is he a Royal lackey wannabe, or what? Yes. |
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Issue of The Week Q. Was John Howard's recent trip to Britain an anachronistic pro-monarchy suck? |
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Sony Playstation. Guaranteed to turn you into a fat, slack-jawed, pizza-ordering slob. Again. |
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Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six. (N64) Lead an elite group of multinationals against the forces of terrorism. |
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Warney's Cricket is so 1999. Cricket 2000 is the latest, steroid-riddled version. Still, no sports-betting feature. |
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Final Fantasy VIII. "Ultimate role-playing, fantasy adventure game." |
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The Rabbit Trapper on… |
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Gran Turismo II. Drive the world's tracks in flash wheels. |
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Jonah Lomu Rugby. The Kiwis take it where they can these days. |
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Boxing 2000. Pit Ali v Tyson, Foreman v Holyfield and have Sugar Ray clean up the mess. |
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Nintendo 64. Will make you less than human but you'll be able to play the following... |
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London, Tuesday: Making good on his claims that he wants to eat children, Mike Tyson yesterday dined on Wimbledon semi-finalist Jelena Dokic, 17, much to the chagrin of her father Damir, who now must rely on 11 year old Peta as the family breadwinner. |
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Damir Dokic and Mike Tyson...lovable rogues or completely crazy fuckin idiots? Hmm, one of sport's great modern quandries. Is it anyone for tennis? Or is it anyone for punching bits of nose cartlidge into brains and killing people and eating them? |
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Melbourne, Friday: Australian cricket captain Steve Waugh says next month's historic one-day series against South Africa in Melbourne is the opportunity for the game to make a fresh start. Bookmakers have listed Australia's start as 67 runs or 5 wickets, while the Proteas odds will be listed pending police confirmation of Salim Malik's whereabouts. |
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Honest Salim, the man who knew too much. |
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Wigan, Wednesday: Great Britain's Rugby League authorities have taken a massive step away from their normal player development mandate by spending £200,000 on a promising youngster from Hull. The recruitment by Wigan of 18 year old Adam Pomibuztard has rocked Australian league-players-past-their-use-by-dates, with many having to reassess their superannuation and retirement fund plans. A hotline has been setup by the NRL to cope with the rash of panicing players relying on the strong British currency to pay for their boats, golfing trips to Phuket and wives. |
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Peter Sterling was one of the first to benefit from the Pommy lucra, inspiring generations of leaguies--whose effectiveness in Australian competition didn't extend past the inter-Monaro Goulburn Cup -- to follow his lead and play in the north of England, a part of the world often considered as nice a holiday destination as wartorn Bosnia, radioactive parts of Iraq, and the meaner streets of Beiruit. |
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Name: Charile 'Steptoe' Dempsey. Born: 18 March, 1884 Lives: Just about. Hobbies: Axing Sarth Efffricaans from footy tourneys. Chewing melted corn coblets. Changing rectal sanitary pads.Breathing. |
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Apology… The Wacky World of Reuters had half a dozen wacky anecdotes this week but that little prick the work experience kid deleted them again. Smut, re-send them willya... |
