Some Things To Bet On This Weekend Include But Are Not Limited To Hawks, Storm & Hoss Amor
Some things to bet on this week include:
Melbourne Storm will win the 2012 grand final because their defence is muscular and water-tight, and they will strangle the Bulldogs and monster Benny Barba like the Raiders did in Canberra in Round 25. And no-one likes being monstered (below). And Dessie’s Doggies are light on for experience in Big Ones, and if they’re down by 12 points at half-time, and Smithy starts scheming from dummy half and pinning them in-goal, and Cronky starts throwing big sides of beef into the Dog Line and sniping himself, and Billy (whom my wife says she loves and calls “My Billy”, I’m not jealous because she says the same thing of our front-loader washing machine) … what? Yes, Billy will start piss-bolting about in his muscular and extremely fast and incisive style, and linking with his under-rated Speed Men and Leapers Dane Neilsen and Sisa Waqa, then for mine, this is Storm by 7.
Hawthorn will beat Sydney Swans because the… What the fuck is Justin Timberlake doing at the Opening Ceremony of the Ryder Cup? Just saw it on the telly. The Hawks? The Hawks will beat the Swans of Sydney Town because they have a giant man-thing called Buddy Franklin who has hands like dustbin lids lined with velcro and Usain Bolt-ness in that he’s a giant but extremely co-ordinated man. Hawks also have a small sneaky one called Cyril Rioli, I met his grandad Cyril on Melville Island once, super bloke old Cyril, he carved a golf course out of the jungle. Little Cyril of the Hawks, meanwhile, will carve a swastika in the forehead of these so-called Swans, and smart punters will load up, as I have, on the Hawks to win < 39.5 into Storm starting the fixture -3.5. That gets you $4.62, a bit over 7/2. Get on.
My mate Kevin – a close friend of Good Times’ celebrity tipster Steve Stallion – has a horse running this evening at Moonee Valley called Hoss Amor, that’s Melbourne Race 4 No.2, Hoss Amor. It’s up against the top weight Snitzerland which was second in the Golden Slipper and subsequently $1.65. But the Hoss, according to men who know including the trainer of the beast John O’Shea (below left, not the idiot with the swastika carved in his forehead, the world’s stupidest person), is in with a fair show given it’s first up from a spell, drew a good barrier, has decent form in the wet and Nash Rawiller on board dictating terms and bounding home on the short Moonee Valley straight, and a form line that reads 17x1211x. It’s paying $10, which is bigger Overs than a drop-punt over the Harbour Bridge. But load up each-way.
And finally, for mine, and it has nothing to do with gambling, but if Quade Cooper doesn’t want to play for Australia because the “environment doesn’t suit”, then Quade Cooper can fuck off.
(Oh yeah – tune into Talkin Sport at 4:15 this arvo, Sydney AM band 1269 or on the Internet talkinsport.com.au , gonna be on talkin footy.)
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